


Puzzle Pieces

by Sailing_ShipWreck



Category: I Am Not Okay with This (TV 2020)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood, But Sydney Novak Loves Dina, F/F, F/M, Homecoming, Homophobic Language, I Am Not Okay With This Episode 7, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I watched the show two times in two days, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, One-Sided Attraction, Outing, Pining, Stanley Barber Loves Sydney Novak, powers, there is literally no tags for this show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:40:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22973566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailing_ShipWreck/pseuds/Sailing_ShipWreck
Summary: Homecoming from Stan's confession to Brad's speech from Stan's perspective.
Relationships: Sydney Novak & Stanley Barber, Sydney Novak/Dina (I Am Not Okay With This)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 97





	Puzzle Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first I Am Not Okay With This fanfic so I hope you like it. I wrote the end of the seventh episode, but from Stan's perspective, so I took the real dialogue from the show, meaning I do not own the dialogue.
> 
> Good reading!

“I mean, you gotta know I…” Stanley Barber took a deep breath. Braced himself mentally. Really, it was no big deal, he was pretty sure Sydney already figured it out. He hadn’t been particularly subtle. “I really like you.”

“I really like you too, Stan.” His breath hitched in his throat. Was it possible? “A lot. Just not in that way.”

His eyes watered. He cursed himself. He forced the tears to stay where they were. Now wasn’t the time at all to cry because his crush had rejected him. It wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to him, he tried to rationalize.

“Yeah. I guess I knew you’d say that eventually.” And yes, to say that he knew, he _knew_. He’d probably known it all along. But, he had hoped anyway. He had hoped that maybe she could like him in that way. It was stupid, really, because nobody really liked Stanley Barber. He was too weird. The thing was, Syd was weird too. He had wished they could have been weird together.

“So who are you here with, anyway?” Stan knew that, too. He knew from the way Syd’s gaze was fixed on a point near the punch table. He knew from the way her eyes sparkled when she looked that way. He knew because her face didn’t light up like this when she looked at him.

“Dina.” And, he was okay with this. Syd didn’t like him in that way, but she was still his best friend. The only one who was not boring in this town. And, well, as long as they were still friends, the rest didn’t matter. Stan loved her, she didn’t, but their friendship was still there. There was one thing tying them together. A connection that nobody else had. It was their thing. Wait, maybe-

“Well, does she know about you?” He tried to sound casual. Honestly, it was stupid, but he wanted to be the only one to know about _that._ It was a thing only he and Syd shared and, maybe a bit egotistically, he wanted it to stay that way. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Dina, she was cool, really, or that he didn’t trust her, but Stan just wanted to have something special with Sydney. He couldn’t have a relationship the way he wanted to have, but he still could have the responsibility to know about Syd’s secret. It made him important in a way for her.

“Does she know about me? In what way?” Syd asked. She looked a little hesitant.

“Well, that you’re a superhero.” _Duh._

“Right. Right.” _Please tell me I’m the only one, please tell me I’m the only one, please tell me I’m the only one_. “You’re the only one.”

“Cool.” Stan tried to hide his excitement and relief but he couldn’t help the big smile that appeared on his face. He was the only one.

“Also, I’m really not--”

“Just-- just give me this one thing. Please.” It still hurt, though. Being rejected, that is.

Syd chuckled and he looked at her. She was beautiful. She was different, also. Not because of her powers, but because she wanted to be an eagle instead of a jellyfish and because she didn’t care about showing him her thigh zits and because she wanted to be his friend. She was different because she didn't want to fit in. She was weird and that was the way she was.

He couldn’t help but think that they would have been perfect together. Stan didn’t need shoes, Syd didn’t need to smile. He had back acne, she had zits on her thighs. He liked jellyfishes, she liked eagles. He thought high school was similar to _Hamlet_ , sad and tragic, and she hated football games. He was odd, she was bizarre. They weren’t normal enough to fit with anyone else, really. They were both puzzle pieces: he was a piece from the wrong puzzle and she was a piece with too-sharp edges. They didn’t correspond with all those same, preshaped, boring pieces.

But, hey. He needed to stop that right now. Sydney didn’t love him and Stanley was okay with this.

“Come on.” Syd offered him her hand and he hesitated, but complied and laced his fingers with hers. His stomach did a flip and his heartbeat accelerated. This felt _so good_. But no. He couldn’t do this, Syd wasn’t interested. _Move on, Stan._

They walked over to the punch table, hands in hands. For a small moment, he allowed himself to dream a little bit. To imagine that it was real. In his dream, Syd had said ‘I really like you too, Stan. A lot.’ and it had stopped there. The second part of her answer never came. Instead, in his little fantasy, he had put his lips on hers and then fireworks had exploded, people had cheered and clapped, confettis had fallen from the sky and little hearts had swirled around them. Then, she had taken his hand and guided him to the dance floor, other students giving them an ovation and swooning over how perfect they were fitting together. Stan and Syd had danced and laughed and kissed while Bloodwitch was playing in the background and that the whole gymnasium suddenly emptied and that they were just the two of them, alone in their world and happy. Together.

Yeah, it wasn’t realistic, but hey, it was his scenario, so he could imagine what he wanted. But now, enough. _She doesn’t love you. Get over it._

“Stan!” Dina exclaimed with a big grin when he and Syd arrived. He smiled back. She seemed genuinely glad to see him. She was really nice. As long as she made Syd happy, he was okay with this.

“Dina, you look, um…you look like a Christmas tree.” Stan complimented, not thinking about the fact that Dina might not consider it as a praise. He also couldn’t help but remark that Sydney looked more like a Christmas tree than Dina by the way she glowed as soon as she was near her best friend. It was rare to see Syd smile so naturally, and even though he had glimpsed her smile a good couple of times, it didn’t compare to how radiant her beam was right now. She looked like a forest fire, radiant and shining and fiery. Oh God, Stan would do anything to kiss her burning lips again.

“Thanks, dude,” Dina said, taking it as it was. If it had been anyone else than Stan, she might have been the tiniest bit insulted, but coming from this boy, it was kind of flattering.

As Stan talked with Syd and Dina, he realized something. Maybe those girls really belonged together. Maybe Dina could soften Syd’s too-sharp edges, and maybe Syd could harden Dina's too fragile ones. Maybe they fitted because they didn’t. They _completed_ each other.

And it hurt. His heart broke a little more in his chest. But he also realized that he, Stanley Barber, was more than okay with this.

So, he did what needed to be done. He let go of that stupid little part of himself that still hoped for something to happen between him and Syd.

“Oh no. On principle, I just-- I can’t. Sorry, this playlist is all over the map. I’ll-- I’ll be back.” Stan excused himself, wanting to leave the two girls alone, but also, dear Lord, this playlist was really making his ears bleed. His heart was already dying enough, no need to add more by killing his hearing.

He walked over to the DJ and started to explain how much this playlist was a crime against humanity. After a while, he turned back around, ready to rejoin the girls, but changed his mind as soon as he saw them. They were dancing and Stan could tell by the way they were holding each other that this dance meant something more. However, their bodies didn’t slot together perfectly like two corresponding puzzle pieces. Dina was too tall, Syd was too small. Their frame didn’t fit together. Syd was too angry, burning like a blaze, a powerful force boiling in her, and Dina was a much calmer nature, soothing and serene like turquoise water in the summer. They couldn’t be assembled. Nothing was working.

But they belonged side-to-side. It could work because even if they didn’t fit, they were attracting each other like a planet gravitating towards the sun.

They didn’t fit, but they couldn’t be separated.

They didn’t fit, but they contrasted each other perfectly.

They didn’t fit, but they balanced one another into the definition of equilibrium.

Sydney and Dina didn’t fit, but they harmonized their divergent personalities.

And Stanley Barber was happy for them. He was happy when the two girls got closer, even though he knew it condemned his really desperate last chances. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. A strange sense of nostalgia and a feeling of accomplishment and pride filled him.

That is, until Brad Dickhead Lewis stepped on the stage. Stan could tell by the way that Brad was staggering on his feet that he couldn’t be sober. Stan had experience with his dad. And according to his experience, this couldn’t mean anything good.

“I would like to take this moment to talk about something very important that affects everyone here. Sydney Novak!” Stan’s whole attention immediately snapped to Brad as soon as he heard the football player pronounce Syd’s name.

“You know, what a lot of people don’t know about Sydney here, she is one hell of a writer.” Stan had a really fucking bad feeling about this. “You know, it’s...it’s funny, because everyone is so fast to call me an asshole,” _Maybe because you are_ , Stan thought. “But while I was downstairs banging Jenny Tuffield as Ricky’s… guess what Sydney was doing upstairs. She was kissing my girlfriend."

Stan suddenly remembered the night at the bowling when they tested Syd’s powers. She had said she had kissed someone that didn’t want to be kissed. It all made so much more sense now. Anger burned in his veins. You didn’t expose people like that, goddammit! And nobody had the right to hurt Sydney for as long as he was here.

“Now, don’t get me wrong, chicks get drunk, they make out sometimes, and I’m all for it, but...being a full-on dyke, that's a whole other ball game. I mean, Syd is fucking in love with Dina. Page after page, it’s absolutely pathetic.”

Why were people not reacting at all? Why was no one doing something? What kind of world did they live in, really?

“And, my God, don’t even get me started on the daddy issues on this one. Everyone in her life thinks that she’s a piece of shit. And I mean, everyone.”

_No, I don’t! I don’t think that Syd’s a piece of shit. I love her!_ Stan thought, his blood boiling in his veins. His anger turned to a devastating rage when he noticed that Sydney’s eyes were full of tears. He ran up to Brad, feeling as though fury might consume him. If that was how Syd felt all the time, he understood why she was lashing out so much.

“Hey, man! Leave her alone!” Brad’s fist collided with his face and he collapsed to the floor, the world fading into darkness.

The first thing he noticed when he came back to himself was the throbbing in his head, the burning in his face. Then, the screams, the running footsteps, the clear panic. Stan forced his eyes open to see blood everywhere. The gymnasium’s floor was painted in red.

_What the fuck._

His eyes drifted to a body. A body without a head. Brad’s body. Or more, his corpse. His cadaver.

Was he dreaming? Maybe he was still passed out.

Then, one thought went through his confused mind. Sydney. Where the hell was she? His eyes scanned the place to no avail.

Stan knew he should be running and screaming in panic, shocked and afraid and even traumatized to be laying at less than two meters of the headless remains of this town’s golden boy, but the only thing that made him panic right now was that he couldn’t find Syd.

The sudden realization that what just happened could only happen because of one thing made him uncomfortable. Syd wouldn’t kill someone. She just wouldn’t.

He needed to find her. He needed an explanation, a confirmation that it was just an accident. Because it needed to be, right? Syd wasn’t a murderer. She was his best friend.

Stan’s eyes landed on the diary. The damned diary.

As he moved to pick it up and bring it back to Sydney, he thought, _Dear Fucking Diary, this is all your goddamn fault._

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy!! I just wanted to say that i'm in love with Stan and he deserves better and needs to be protected at all costs. Oki, thanks for coming to my TED talk. Anyway, I hope you liked this fanfic and don't hesitate to leave a comment. Pls leave one. I love you all.


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